American Anthropology

Zombies vs. Werewolves

by Lindsey Eck

Zombies on the boulevard
Zombies in the yard
They keep on getting closer
And I never got that reward

Zombies coming out of the graveyard
Zombies coming out of the dirt
Wolfman lurks in the hedges
Somebody’s gonna get hurt

Wolfman on the avenue
Takin’ his bite of the revenue
He keeps on getting closer
He’s got a grin like me and you

He used to share a pit with a zombie
She’s the reason he turned into a wolf
She was a very bad bet for an alpha
He was a danger to her and himself

Zombies at the border
Zombies on the roof
Tried to call the sheriff
But he won’t accept my proof

Zombies in the desert
Wolfman in the mirror
Zombies in the gutter
Only make the wolfman sneer

You and me, baby, with a Louisville Slugger
Zombies in the alley eating brains out of muggers
We gotta hold ’em off till the moon is high
Then it’s gonna get louder than the Fourth of July

Zombies in the Senate
Zombies in the House
Wolfmen got a union
Everywhere except the South

Zombies in the tunnels
Zombies overhead
Mummies leave the art museum
To join the living dead

Wolfmen got the highlands
The hotels and the slums
Zombies in the flophouse
Feasting on the bums

We’re running out of bullets
We’re running short of guns
Good thing there’s a wolfman
Who can take whatever comes

We gotta hold ’em off till the moon is high
Then it’s gonna get louder than the Fourth of July

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