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8 January 2026
Feeling Minnesota

Looking at California

An ICE guy just murdered a White mom in Minneapolis, Renee Good. She was queer, so, under the tenets of American Christianity, that makes her a fair target. Enemy of God and all that.

Remember those arcade shooting games where you aimed a gun at the screen and the yellow ducks were worth 5, but if you bagged a white swan, it was worth 25?

That’s what having her thugs jail and kill her fellow Midwesterners must feel like for Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem.

Somalis—they’re the 5-point ducks. A White soccer mom—25. We’re on track for many more free games.

The Marquise de Noem has gotten her first taste of White liberal blood and she must be slavering for more. Shooting a puppy was just her baptism of fire. (Praise Jesus™.)

Trump-Miller’s next move is obvious. Whether or not Minneapolis goes up in flames, as it did in 2020, declare an insurrection, invoke the Insurrection Act, and depose the elected government of Minnesota. Saturday, Caracas; Tuesday, St. Paul. Declare martial law. It’s a no-brainer, even for a president of little brain.

That’s the only way he can cancel the midterm elections, as he has trial-ballooned, and avoid impeachment of himself and all his criminal cronies.

Hitler first took over Prussia, the biggest German state (the equivalent of California), then abolished all the states to centralize power in Berlin. Putin replaced the elected governors of oblasts (provinces) with appointees, again centralizing power. The main countervailing power confronting MAGA is the big blue states. Trump has no choice but to crush state governments, and Minnesota gets to be the first victim. Then, California, here he comes. Newsom in cuffs.

For Minnesotans, there are no good options. Keep protesting, and Trump sends the 101st Airborne to St. Paul and Stephen Miller rules the state by fiat. Stop protesting, and ICE terrorizes your neighborhoods, your apartment buildings, your daycares.

I suppose they could mount a general strike, depriving the rest of America of Lucky Charms and Scotch Tape. Good luck with that.

If I lived in Minneapolis, I guess I’d board up the windows, put the family heirlooms in the SUV, and skip town. Take refuge here in Texas, where we’re already protected under the dark wings of Abbott’s Nazi eagle. Florida, Tennessee, South Carolina—already reconquered by the Confederacy, so nobody’s going to do to us what the Trump regime is doing to Minneapolis. They’re even letting Texans keep their SNAP benefits.

I wonder if Gov. Walz saw this coming and that’s why he abandoned his reelection campaign. He’s ex-military, and I wonder if he’ll calmly submit to being handcuffed and hauled off to El Salvador, or if he’ll decide to be a hero and go down shooting.

I hear there’s a market where you can bet on the outcome.

Sacramento, Springfield, Salem, Olympia, Trenton, Albany: These state capitals are bite-sized morsels that can be overrun easily by a single airborne division. The hippies of San Francisco (if any remain) can gnash their teeth all over Golden Gate Park. Their tarot cards just got Trumped by the guy with all the (military, monetary) cards. Read ’em and weep.

Tim Cook will hasten to Sacramento to bestow another gold brick on his new MAGA overlords. Peter Thiel will fly in by private jet to choose some yummy second lieutenants for his personal harem. And the Dow will finally surpass 50,000.

The PayPal Mafia will have nothing but happy endings. The rest of us are about to get, well, you know.

Turn over another new leaf:
3 October 2025
Ask Kristi Noem

The Secretary answers questions from ICE agents

19 September 2025
Jesus™

Son of Mammon

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